SEALIFE CREATURES

The opening sentence for this entry has been written and re-written more times than in any other entry. One reason being the sheer pointlessness of the product I'm reviewing today, but even more so, for the two reasons I purchased this item.

Reason one: I've always heard that the best path to achieve the so-called American Dream is by starting your own business. I got that part down and did so with a couple of friends last year. Unfortunately, the business I chose is film making; not exactly a cash cow when you're shooting independent, no budget, self financed, arthouse film. Tiburon Rojo Films, which is the name of our company, means Red Shark in Spanish and it has been growing faster than I could have imagined. In my opinion the recognition has to do with some of the creative marketing/promotions tools we've used to plug the company around town.

Reason two: A friend of mine, and the latest member to join the Tiburon Rojo Films team, recently introduced me to GeoCaching. If you don't know what GeoCaching is I suggest that you give it a good read and maybe try it. It's really fun and gets you out and about to some areas of your town you would have otherwise not visited. Geocaching can be done alone, with your partner, a group of friends or your kids (If you have them).

So, what the hell did I buy and what the hell does the above reasons have to do with it? Well, I purchased three bags of little hard plastic toys called Sealife Creatures. I would give you more information on the product but that's pretty much all the generic label said.





WTF?
WTF? indeed...

Let me explain. In GeoCaching you find containers that... well, contain anything from a tiny log of visitors to a variety of objects known as SWAG. Cachers can either leave or trade SWAG when they find caches. By now you should be getting a broad idea of why I purchased such pointless product to begin with. I wanted to start leaving SWAG in all the caches I found while at the same time shamelessly plugging in Tiburon Rojo Films.

I went to the Dollar Tree by my job during lunch looking for toy sharks that I would then paint red (since finding red sharks is pretty unheard of). But my beloved Dollar Tree and it's Chinese cohorts surpassed every expectation I'd set for this expedition. Not only did they have little plastic toy sharks but they had RED little plastic toy sharks! How effin' convenient for me!





I purchased three bags and each with 3 sharks and 3 alligators (that were significantly larger than all the sharks) in a variety of colors. When I finally separated the animals, as much for promotional purposes as to avoid another Jaleel White monstrosity, I ended up with 6 red sharks, 2 blue sharks and a lonely purple shark.





Some of my sharks and alligators had some minor shoddy craftsmanship which I had to fix. Not a big deal if you're a poor kid and only got this bag of lead-laced crap for a gift, but pretty noticeable if you're a DIY company using it for promotional purposes.



 

Oddly enough, Orangelo, the orange alligator seemed to have grown a 5th leg due to radiation exposure... or maybe he was just happy to see me.




All I want to do with my red sharks is to drop them in some caches with a small QR code that will take other cachers to my company's website; and for that, they are excellent. The detail on the little sharks is pretty good given where they came from and that they truly fail miserably as an actual toy of any sort.




I cannot imagine why anybody would buy this for anything other than why I bought them. Again, as a toy they fail miserably. But if you are a small business owner who can use small, plastic, colorful, left-over alligators to promote your company, give me a holler, I have plenty. If you are a small child whose parents can't or won't buy you anything other than this pathetic excuse for a toy... my condolences.

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